Why Did I Sign Up For This?
UA in Oxford ~ Pre-Departure
There are many “firsts.” I could go on and on about the matter but in this case, the “first” would be travelling internationally. Whenever someone encounters a “first,” they are met with a shockwave of emotions: hesitation, anticipation, anxiety, nervousness, and excitement, all at the same time. These feelings can cause one to become overwhelmed. Now, let me be perfectly clear: I am in fact overwhelmed. Overwhelmed with thoughts of –how can I transition to living in a different country? Or the fact that I am spending the summer away from home and there is no way of going back for the weekend. As soon as the departure date gets closer, the question hit me — why did I sign up for this? Of course, studying abroad is a great thing to look forward to experiencing. But, there are mental and psychological challenges many people who have not traveled internationally, or flown in an airplane, or traveled anywhere (like, really anywhere), have to tackle. My dilemma is this: I am starting to feel as though I do not want to go anymore. I went through the process of filling out an application, receiving a spot in the program, paying a deposit for my spot and the plane ticket. And yes, it pains me to uncover this truth. Although I feel this way, I won’t let fear get in the way of something that could positively impact me for the rest of my life. I had to remember my reasoning and motivation for pursuing such an ambitious endeavor — that it would add to my being as a student, an older sister, a future professional, a person. I hope to gain global and cultural awareness and a different perspective of learning during my time studying abroad. It is something I want to share and possibly motivate people in the future to pursue.