Why am I not more changed? That’s all I could ask myself the past few weeks as I have been home. I think an explanation might be that we never spent more than two days in one place, so I never got too attached. We were also hiking, so I was seeing more nature than culture. But I was still seeing the country and getting invested in culture, so why don’t I feel so much more different than I did at the beginning of this experience? And despite feeling this way, I still compare everything I do and see to the trip. Am I lazy, or is the 9-hour time difference still affecting me? Every day had structure and a plan. I woke up before the sun and I was asleep right after dinner. Even the last days that were spent in Madrid I was up and at it early to not miss anything. Still, it feels like nothing has changed because I’m sleeping all day and up all night as if I was still on European time. I have certificates that prove I accomplished this great feat, and yet, it still does not feel like it happened. I keep waiting to feel changed or feel accomplished, but I don’t. Maybe I never will, maybe there’s something more I need to do to finally feel this accomplishment. For now, I just have to wait. This is not to say that I didn’t have fun or that this was still one of the most amazing things I have done in my life thus far, I was just expecting a little more. I highly recommend studying abroad to anyone who gets the opportunity. I learned invaluable skills about speaking another language and interacting with people as well as making friends that I hope to keep for a lifetime.
